There are many social mistakes that one can make at a swinger party. Of course double dipping, compulsive farting, and being clean are obvious ones regardless if you are talking about vanillas or actual sexual acts. But this list is three of the faux pas that I believe are the most important to swingers. Whether its your first party or you are an expert in the field.. avoid these.
Many couples go to swinger parties in order to meet lots of different couples at a single setting. Parties give you an opportunity to get past the static profile and really learn someones characteristics. Its really the first way to determine if you connect.
There are often times couples that will zone in on another couple and stay at their hip all night long. They follow you around, press for sexual play, and can get a little combative if another couple tries to approach you to get to know you. Its similar to the couples that call or text repeatedly and ask when its going to be their time to play.
The high pressure tactics do not work. All it does is frustrate and create tension. When you first meet a couple you should introduce yourself, get a feel for how you connect, and move on. You can always return later in the night and see if there is an opportunity for more conversation. Also, no sex pressure. That is not sexy. If a couple connects, then sex will happen. Its okay to ask if it is time or if there is interest. But doing so repeatedly will not get your farther.
This is important to everyone but especially when you are new and just getting your feet wet. The swinging scene is, at first, a little intimidating. Many couples come into it only thinking about how much fun they are going to have, and disregarding the fun that their spouse is wanting to have. Next thing you know, you’re spouse is getting a lot of attention and you aren’t.
Especially in the beginning we’ve always said that it is best to go at the speed of the slowest person. Check in with each other and see how your spouse is feeling about the situation every now and then. Touch and hold hands so that you still feel centered and together in this adventure. As always, communication is critical and both spouses need to know that they are still loved by the person they came with.
When the little green jealousy monster does attack you need to take a step back. Whether play is happening or not, make contact with your spouse and explain what is happening. If you are still having trouble calming down, leave the party as quietly as you can. Then continue much more conversation without blaming each other.
There can be many more experiences and as time goes on, they will be much more enjoyable but that won’t happen if you let jealousy get the better of you.
Clean up after yourself
Many clubs and parties will get volunteers to help facilitate a clean environment. But each of us should be responsible for taking care of the club and our own messes. You would expect others to take care of your home if you invited them over so why wouldn’t do the same for any club you visit.
Most of the parties will have finger foods and plates and you should make sure those end up in a trash can. If you spill a drink, then grab a club employee and ask them where a mop or towel is. Maybe most important, pick up and trash your used condoms and use towels when squirting is likely to happen. No one wants to lay on your mess after you’ve headed home in a sexual bliss.
Jim @ HiddenSwing